Subject: Eddy
by Killough
Summary: "A shrink?  I gotta see a SHRINK!  I don't need ta go to the school conselor!  I don't got any problems.  No problems...  at all..."                EddyxEdd Slash.  To be updated atleast weekly 'till complete.
1. Subject Eddy:  Session 1

Yeah, I do it. So what? Plenty a kids do it when they get all stressed. I don't see you interrogatin them!

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Pffft, yeah right…. Okay, big deal! Whatta ya want, a novel?

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….. Oh…. Really? Uh… No. Nahh, you don't wanna hear about it. It's stupid and, oh! S' at the lunch bell? No? Cause I mean it SOUNDED like the lunch bell! Aha, ha….

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We still have 55 minutes left don't we? Well…. Guess it's better than math… ***sigh*** Alright, fine, you win. I'll tell ya… but… but if you tell ANYONE! I friggin SWEAR I'll fill every one a these books of yours with shriveled up gravy! I got my sources!

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… okay… so.. uh, I guess it all started 4 months ago when we had ta go back to school. GOD I didn't wanna come back. Heck if I had it my way, I'd never go back again! School's got no point to it. Okay okay, yeah sure it "prepares you for life experiences" and all, but not really. Is my job gonna depend on me knowing 10 numbers past pie? Or if Jack gave Jill 7 apples so two trains could collide at 10 o'clock? I don't THINK so.

But we had to come back anyway… we? Me, Ed, and Double Dee. My two closest pals. Heh, yeah. I guess you could say I'm kinda there leader. The lump, that's' Ed, would be completely lost without me. Not really the smartest guy. But he's great for muscle work when we're scamming the kids of the cul-de-sac. Plus the guy's hilarious! Slow on the uptake, but if ya need 'im, Ed'll be there. Double Dee? He's the brains. Always goin on about somethin but he wouldn't be Sockhead if he didn't.

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Yeah. The braniac with the sock on his head? The one all you teachers are goin on about. That's him. Eh, but I'm not into 'im for the brains. Sure he plans out all our scams and stuff, after I come up with the idea of course, but he's kinda like…. Like, uh…. I guess, kinda like you, I guess. But less old. Ha! Ha sorry. Hey, you said I could be myself here right?

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A counselor, yeah yeah, that's what I-WhAT! I didn't say I was inta Double Dee! I mean, sure I said it, but I did, NOT mean it like that! I ain't no fairy! I just meant I don't like Sockhead cause he's our Einstein. I mean I like him cause he can, ya know… cheer me up and make sense sometimes. Understands where I'm come'n from a lot. Heh, yeah. The guy does put up a lot with me and Ed's antics. But sometimes, we weasel him into the works, and it's… well it's what the summer is about. The three of us, scamming for cash, jawbreakers, and good times. Not like in school. Nobody likes us at school. All the kids here a friggin against me for no reason! At least when it's summer and we're scamm'n 'um, they're on the other side of the table. But in school, you're all shoved together and ya hear all this BS gossip like, "I hear they're not speaking to each other anymore," and "The dork had it come'n for a long time." God, I hate it here! If it weren't for Ed and Double Dee? I'd be gone two days before Sunday! YES Sunday two days ago! That's what makes it so fast! I have…. I have "issues" with make'n friends okay? Is THAT what you wanna hear? Sheesh… My big bro taught me everything, EVERYTHING I know on how ta be cool. Er… Well actually, I watched him. He'd beat up the kids in the neighborhood, give orders to everybody and they'd totally do what he said! They friggin LOVED the guy and RESPECTED him. Why was it so much easier for him than it is for me…? I dunno… but, its just another reason life sucks…

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Well for one, the homework, the gossip, the cliques, detention and football with a mad lack of chicks… hey, that totally rhymed! I could write a song about it if I wanted. That's how easy it is ta communicate how horrible my life is.

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…. The worst? Oh… well… Double Dee kinda, uh…

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….he's not really, talking ta me anymore… cause uh, sumthin I did… grrr, it was so stupid too. I didn't even have ta do it but I panicked and, we got into a fight, and for like 3 days straight everytime I try and be all civil with the guy I, I just can't, and I blow my top. Even though it's all my fault. The look he gives me when he see's me now…. God….. It's a kinda look like, when he's glare'n at yeah, the words "How could you, it's all your fault" are just BORE'N into your skull from the stare! So lately now I've just been tryin ta leave him alone. He still hangs out with Ed, but Ed says he ain't sayin anything bad about me from behind my back.

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Wha'd I do? I… Kevin was bein a dork as usual, and we kinda had a bet to see who'd be the bigger man. Kevins' been my enemy for like, ever since I was born! The shovel-chinned, cap-wearin jock wanna be loser… I wanted ta put him in his place once and fer all, so I came up with the biggest prank of all! But Double Dee… Double Dee was the butt of the joke…. I mean it's not like he's never been before, but I guess I musta, struck a chord. That stupid hat, that STUPID HAT! He wears it all the time and if I just waited longer I coulda missed and….. well… that didn't happen. Look, I TRIED to apologize, but he said he didn't wanna …

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Hey, I'm fine, okay? I told you that the second I got in here.

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That's great and all but you ain't the boss a me. I'll do whatever I want when I'm deal'n with crap!

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Okay okay, I'll be back tomarrow than… and, if you could do me a solid… could you, not call my folks? I dunno how the'd react and, I kinda don't wanna get grounded or whatever….

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.. Thanks… ya know. You're not so bad… for a school shrink. Well, see ya tomorrow… I guess…

Session 1 complete. Next Scheduled Appointment, tomorrow at 8.


	2. Progress:  Session 2

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Hey…

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…. Nuthin.

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pfft…. No…

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Do I LOOK like I wanna talk about HIM!

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Okay! Okay! I meant I'm…. I'm… things just got really crappy.

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I mean Sockhead thinks he's all that now! Completely forget'n where his roots are! One with the in crowd, all that and a bag a Lays, the cats pajamas, the big-

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Yesterday! It happened yesterday! I saw it right after I had ta go back to Math class. Double "Dweeb" was talking with Kevin… Yeah, just talking with him! After HE made me accidentally pull that prank on him ANYWAY! I was feel'n pretty chill though since I got ta miss most of Math, thanks for that by the way, so I didn't trounce on over there or nuthin. SO, there I was mindin my own buisness, when Nazz walks by, without a second glance at moo-wa, and-

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eh, er, No she doesn't say hi ta me, but, g-grrr, DOESN'T MATTER! Point is she mingles on over to the two shovel chins and starts chattin away at both of 'um! THAT MEANS DOUBLE DEE! She never ever EVER talks ta him! She'd come ta me way before she'd come ta him! And she scoots between the two babblin about, eg god knows what. I really don't remember or care. But since than, Sockhead hasn't even made an attempt to make eye contact with me!

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… okay, I don't think you understand what an "outcast" is. Me, Double Dee, and Ed, are always, ALWAYS the but a everyone else's jokes. S'been that way ever since preschool! What they're doing? ISN'T normal! They don't just "talk" to us or, "reach out" to us. What are ya?

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Ohhh no. Nuh uh. He's not come'n in here. No way no HOW are he and me come'n in for couple's counceling! Ehg, gehhh, no! Not THAT kind of couple's counceling! Don't switch up my words like that! I can do this just fine without anybody's help! When I'm done, Sockhead'll feel so bad for ditch'n me…

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What're you write'n?

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Attatchment Is-ATTATCHMENT ISSUES!

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NO! WAY! I KNEW see'n you was BOGUS! I don't care! 40 minutes of Mrs. Fitzbackfat's math blabbin! ANYTHING'S better than-

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…

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… but-

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…

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r-really…?

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o… hokay… y-yeah…

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n-no! You can't see'im!

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Nuthin ta be ashamed of? Have you been listening ta me at ALL!

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We are NOT like that!

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Sure, yes okay, OKAY fine! Jealousy whatever! But it's-

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A memory? Of me and Double Dee? Not Ed?

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well that's kinda random, but, whatever. Okay uhhh…. Oh, oh yeah! Ha, I'll never for get the time me and him were in the playground together. Yeah he was stuck at the top of the slide after Ed shoved him up there. We were all pretty little, but even then he was goin on about Scorpio and conlesions.

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Yeah that. Anyway, he just wouldn't friggin slide down! I kept telling 'im there's nuthin ta blubber about but he kept bawlin like a 3 year old.

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5.

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So he wouldn't shut up, 'till I climbed up the ladder past Ed and slid down with him.

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Than he….. thanked me.

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….a hug.

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Alright enough a that! Geez, You're worse than my mother.… Anyway I gotta go.

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whaaaatever. Later.


	3. Run in with Patient :Topic for Session 3

H-hey!

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Yeah, uh, I know I'm here kinda late. I got detention so, ya know…

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Aren't ya gonna ask me what I did?

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pfffft…. Lame…

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WAIT!

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I uh… I gotta ask ya sumthin…

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You said, " . . . . ." about jealousy… remember?

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Well… what if, if I uh… apol, apola-uh…. Said, "sorry" ta Sockhead sayin that…? Maybe, tell him what you told me?

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Ya…. Ya I, I know… It was, stupid and… and he's… he's my….

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…

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I just! Remembered sumthin! Gotta get to detention now before the back rows' full! See ya later!

….

Mental Note: Subject has become "aware".

Next Session: Tomarrow at 10am.


	4. Panic Replaces Progress: Session 3

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… - AH! No!

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I told you when I fist got here! ALL kids do it! It ain't none a YOUR buisness! This is all completely, unbelievably, STUPID!

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Oh yeah, I TRIED ta use that smart shrink type advice a yours! And ya know what I got! Before I could get one word out, one FRIGGIN word out! He starts unwrappin all these, these cakes and cookies and junk! Nazz baked him a basket a crap and Kev put a bunch a jawbreakers in it! It's too late! TOO! LATE!... he's with them… I ran. I ran from his place after I saw it. It was a big fat, "congratulations for leave'n behind your pint-sized dork pal!" Like they were, I dunno! Like some sort of, sick bait used ta suck him in and STAY in their little clique and never hang out with me again! Even Ed hasn't been hang'n around me lately!

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It wasn't that me, and Ed, and Double Dee were outcasts! It….! It was ME!

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**hic** NO! **sniff** no no no … I held'um back, and now I lost 'um BOTH and now I can never….!

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I can never TELL Double DEEE! **hic** He AIN'T gonna listen! Not ta me!

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No… Nuh uh **sniffle** nuh-n-no way! He's not gonna listen ta me or… want me around 'er nuthin!

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NO! I don't wanna HEAR you SAY that anymore! This! IS! BULL!

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**beep** **beep** **beep** 'riiiiiiing' 'riiiiiing' 'riiiiiing'

Princaple's office.

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… ohmygoodness, oh wow… What student was this! I'll phone his parents right away-

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I know you're looking out for his best interest but really it isn't your call wether or not to inform his parents.

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Either way, he's not aloud to skip school!

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…. You gave him a pass for the day?

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oh you are such a liar.

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**sigh** Alright, alright. You're lucky I've known you for so long and trust you. I'll let dismissal know he's gone.

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Set up an appointment with another student?

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Of course, what's his name?

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I'll send him to you right away.

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**click**

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Subject: Is hyper-aware of his feelings but has not come to rational terms with it or conducting his actions safely.

Plan of Action: Call in Subject 2.

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End file.
